You are not alone. What ever you might be going through right now or have gone through in the past, there’s someone out there who’s been on a similar path or has been through worse. When we go on to tell the story of hardship and how we managed to overcome, we pour it out thereby helping someone out there find strength and a little motivation. This really goes a long way for some people. I love the song, “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” by the Beatles
There’s no better way to tell a story than from experience. I learnt this from a man who might not even know this but virtually connected with me on a personal level, James Altucher. I recommend you read his book “choose yourself”. It changed my life. I mean in this journey of life we live to tell stories through bliss and pain, convey it through either song, film, books or spoken word ( poetry , rap etc). Some people find comfort in telling fantasy stories, J. K. Rowling being a fine example. She started writing the first of her Harry Potter series going through the loss of her mother, a divorce and financial distress. Her story, from being a live in mom on welfare to being a self made billionaire is one of the most compelling rags to riches stories of the 21st century. No one can better describe the difference those Harry Potter books have made in their lives than a Harry Potter fan. Admittedly, I haven’t read any of them however I watched the movies. I don’t consider myself a huge fantasy book fan even though I have indulged in some super hero movies. I tend to find comfort in real life stories because I can relate to them better. I have gone through a lot myself and if you have read through my blog you would have an idea of my background which can be found here. I feel writing about it is better than putting it into song. (Yes I am a musician too)
I never blame anyone for my shortcomings. It was always a matter of taking responsibility for the mistakes I have made in life. I mean there are far too many people out there who have had it worse from mistakes not of their own making but have ultimately made decision to change their attitudes and live a life of their own making. Privilege comes in so many different forms and can be handled differently by any individual. Being born in a good healthy family no matter what part of the world you are in is a privilege ( Open to debate) and always lays the foundation of where you are going to end up in life. I am born and raised in a Christian family and sent to a good school. This laid a very good foundation in my life however I was left with a lot more mixed feelings too. Talking about the positives, having a good heart was fundamental to my beliefs, somehow having ambition and a vision became a part of me. I developed this fighting spirit and had this unshakable will power but on the negatives I wasn’t exposed to a lot of real life situations and somehow missed the boat on smart spending, dating and even knowing to tell the difference between being a good friend and having real friends. Now this does not mean I haven’t had good friends or don’t have any but I have met people I really thought were good friends but turned out to be bad apples which had it’s role in some of the bad situations I found myself in.
See the kind of friends you have can somewhat determine your path in life. You need to choose them wisely. It is possible one of the most difficult decisions because we all have weaknesses and you might turn out to be the bad friend in the equation after all. Ask yourself, what do you need in a friend and how can you be a good friend? They always say, “a friend in need is a friend indeed” and people struggle to understand that idiom. We struggle to understand what kind of help a friend might need. It’s not always about money, I am sure we are all guilty of this misconception. A friend might just need advice, emotional and moral support, maybe just your presence when they are going through those trying times. A call now and then to have those light conversations about music, sports, politics etc. All these steps and more are a good indication of a good friend. In this century most of us seem to have lost translation of what it means to be a friend and thus chosen people who are after their own interests and would ultimately bring us down. I have been there. Drugs and alcohol might be a feel good factor right now but they will bankrupt and eventually kill you. It’s inevitable if you continue on the same path. Too much of anything is never good for you. If you never alternated on who buys the other Sushi or Thai lunch after those intense football or tennis games then you might need to start having a conversation about that. If one is more needy than the other then you might also need to look into that too. It might take a simple conversation and advice to fix it. Make smart choices friends.
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